Stuff Christians Like is a Christian satire blog by Jon. He's really funny and shares some truths about our Christian culture in a quirky way. His recent post, #478 Sitting Next to Sick People at Church, is so funny and true! Here are his tips (in bold) to dealing with sickies at church followed by my commentary:
"1. Wave to them during the meet and greet."
I agree with this one whole-heartedly, but it's hard for me because I don't want to look unfriendly. And I'm an affectionate person. I enjoy a good handshake and a greeting.
My husband's sister-in-law was visiting several weeks ago and as soon as we sat down after shaking hands, she put on the hand sanitizer. First, I was thinking, that's kind of rude. And then I thought, I really want some of that! She said that her church has stopped shaking hands for the winter because of all the sickies. I think it will take me a while to get used to the wave greeting.
"2. Don't buy the 'it's just allergies' excuse."
It is winter and there aren't really an plants alive in our neck of the woods. But maybe it's the dust from all the artificiall greens. ;) I think that allergies are real and I think that I get them. But face it, it's cold and flu season and germs are running rampant. I'd like to say that my cold symptoms are an allergy (from dry furnace air, from the dust trapped inside our house for 9 cold months) but reality is...it's just a cold.
"3. Bring them Kleenex."
This actually sounds friendly. I have to say that I've never really seen anyone wipe their wet noses on their sleeves, but I have heard people trying with all their might not to blow their nose. There they are, so uncomfortable, sniffling away. I've done this many times because I don't want to draw any attention to myself by blowing my nose. As I give out this next bit of advice I'm really talking to myself: BLOW YOUR NOSE! You will feel better! And if you're uncomfortable with blowing your nose in public, excuse yourself. If you're one of the people trapped in the middle of the row, you will draw attention to yourself when you blow your nose, but remember it's only for a second. Sniffling through the whole service is a constant distraction, I know because I've been one, just ask my mom.
"4. If they bring their sick kids just give up."
I am very guilty of this. I don't want to take my littles to Sunday School when they're sick to avoid getting other people's littles sick. So I haul them into the service. It never works out. They can't sit still, they don't feel well, and instead of infecting their friend, their infecting the friend's parents. It's a vicous cycle. That's why I didn't go to church yesterday. I was home with my youngest son and his dripping nose.
The article is really funny, especially how he talks about his kids coughing right into his mouth. That is so true! You can check it out his commentary here.