After we lost our unborn baby, we decided to have a DNA test done to check the baby's chromosomes and see if there were any defects or anomalies. As a nurse, I want to check the facts and assess the situation and checking labs and having tests done are a great way to get some answers... or at least get a start to what the problem might be.
But the tests came back negative. Which means there was nothing genetically wrong with the baby. Usually in early miscarriages (before 12 weeks) there is a genetic mutation such as Down's Syndrome. Or the baby is severely disfigured and may not live outside the womb. But I had made it past 12 weeks and my baby wasn't disfigured and there were no genetic anomalies.
So now, I ask "why?" Was it something that I did wrong? Was I exposed to something that caused the baby to die? Am I creating antibodies that are fighting the baby as a foreign object? Do I have another clotting disorder (as I've been tested negative for Factor V)? What caused this to happen?
It's hard for me to move on when there are still tests to be done and doctor's appointments to go to. It's hard for me to move on when we don't have a green-light to try again. So now, I go in on Monday for more blood work. To test if I have another type of clotting disorder that may have even caused my pre-eclampsia with my firstborn. I should know in another week after the lab draw if I'm positive or negative for any of the tests.
And it's hard for me to say that if these tests are all negative (which really, is a good thing) I may never know what caused this precious baby to die.