That's a good question because it can change from day to day or even minute to minute. Molly Piper writes about helping your friend grieve on her blog. She writes about the timetable for grief and that the truth is...there is no timetable.
Your friend might seem to have it together just fine in public. She’s not always walking around with mascara streaks and constantly beating her breast, so that must mean she’s fine, right? She may have just had moments or hours of intense grief in her personal time, and somehow, by the grace of God, managed to make herself presentable enough to go to church and not be a blubbering mess. Respect that—it’s a major accomplishment for her.I really feel like I have to keep it together. I feel like in order to be the "good Christian" or the "good pastor's wife" I need to be "praising God through my storm" and not show any emotion - grief, anger, resentment, disappointment - and it's hard keeping it together in public.
Grief is a roller-coaster ride and it has no formula. I appreciate the stages of grief and I know that one day I can be accepting this loss and the next day I'm back to anger. I encourage you to read this entire article, There Is No Timetable for Grief, to gain some perspective on how the stages of grief play-out in Molly's life (and mine, too).
(If you want to read more of my thoughts on Molly's series, click here.)