Thursday, February 17, 2011

Posting on the Road - Hodge-Podge

I know I promised lots of posts about our trip but so much has happened and there's so much to think about and process. :) We've had some great ministry opportunities, met great people both from Mississippi and volunteers from the Midwest, heard some wonderful speakers and preachers, and traveled some pretty crazy roads through Mississippi and Tennessee.

Also, there have been many sad baby moments. I don't usually have very much time to sit and think about things so it's been an emotional journey for me. Plus, it seems like it's baby city again. For a while I was doing really well because it seemed like there was a pause in pregnancies and births of people I know, but now we're on round 2 and it's been hard. It's especially hard for people that I am close with or people having their third child. Makes me sad not knowing if God will ever gives us a fifth third child. And the emotions have been surprising me. At weird times I seem to get teary and the strangest things will make me feel like something is missing.

It's been good for me to process our second loss, but difficult at the same time for two reasons: 1) I'm with my dad. I don't want to be an emotional sad sack or look like I'm going crazy so I've been restraining myself, and 2) Because it's just hard and painful to work through the emotions, especially in a quiet way.

I'm also missing my boys like crazy. It's nice to be gone long enough to miss them, but now that I'm missing them I just want to be home. :) I love my wild boys. I miss their laughs, their cries, their cuddles, their energy (yes, even their energy), and I just miss being with them and seeing them together. Makes me thankful for my living children and crave the ones in heaven.

Enough from Debbie Downer (wah-wah). I will have two posts going up soon (hopefully) about worship on Sunday and when we heard Dr. John Perkins and Dr. Dolphus Weary speak. Thanks for your patience. :)

1 comment:

Jonathan Van Maanen said...

Can't wait for the next posts!