Disarray

My house is in complete.disarray. I guess that's natural when you're moving in less than two weeks but still, it kills me. I even ran out to McDonald's this morning (at 5:30a) to get some coffee since our coffeemaker is packed.

The packing has been getting horrible. We're down to the bones but there are things that I'm unsure of when to pack. Like clothes. I'm planning on getting the laundry completely caught up so I can pack bags for everyone for 1-2 weeks of clothes. Then I'm going to box up the rest and we'll live out of our bags (doing laundry along the way) for those few weeks we have left in this house.

And then food/dishes. I really don't want to use disposable dishes for two weeks but I'm thinking at the end of this week I'll probably pack my dishes. It's hard with little people but we'll make due. The silverware is another thing. Not sure when to pack that or to buy disposable and then wash them as we go. That way, at least the "real" stuff is packed and ready to move. And I think we'll be having a lot of frozen pizzas so I can pack my pots, pans and baking dishes. :) It's crazy!! :) I should make some freezer meals this week in disposable pans so that I can pack my real stuff.

Then there's the officey stuff. Our phone books, stationary, pens, pencils, calendar, bills, stamps, computer items, printer paper, etc. And tupperware. When do I pack all of that? After I go through and make sure everything has a lid and get rid of my "Dutch" tupperware (ie. yogurt, butter, cottage cheese, cool-whip containers).

We've been packing since last August and I'm sick of it. I want things to be put away. I want everything to be in their homes. I want to have a clean, noncluttered home so I can drink my coffee in peace.

Sorry to whine, vent and think aloud, but I'm about to my breaking point with the packing. I just want to throw stuff in boxes and move already. :)

How do you feel about packing, moving and unpacking? Any helpful tips for this weary soul?

Words You Never Want to Hear

Recently one of our favorite babysitters (a mom some former students) was unable to babysit for us because of a death in the family. I ran into her a few days later and asked how everyone was doing. She said it was really hard as her brother-in-law died suddenly at the age of 59 years-old. This same family has experienced a lot of losses within the last year and I'm sure this was especially hard because he was so young.

She told me that her husband had to go tell his mother that her son was dead. She said that those are the words a mother never wants to hear. We hugged and she went on her way and I went on mine. But her words really got to me: "Those are the words a mother never wants to hear - your child is dead."

I pondered that sentence for a long time and have been thinking about it ever since.

I have to admit that at first I was angry. Did she know who she was talking to? Did she remember that I have heard those words twice and it is gut-wrenching? Did she realize how close she got to my wound?

And then I thought about it some more. It's a horrible feeling to hear that your child is dead. And it doesn't matter if they're 80, 59, 30, 10, or if its an unborn baby - it's still a loss and it's still hard to hear those words no matter how old you or your child is.

I'm reminded some of the grieving mothers in the Bible. Women who lost their children - Eve, Bathsheeba, Elizabeth, Mary. How deep their losses must have been. How much pain these women endured at the loss of their precious children.

Isaiah 49:14-16 reminds me that God's love for us is even stronger than a mother's love for her children (which at times can seem impossible). God will not forget us. He has "tattooed" our names on the palms of his hands. God is faithful even when we don't feel it or see it or hear it. God won't forget us in our pain. He will see that our walls are broken down before him. And I pray that He can use that grief to draw us closer to him, that one day we will wear our God-story as the ornament for a bride. I pray that God will use this pain to bring beauty out of our ashes, to adorn us for our Bridegroom. I pray that our God-story continues to flow out of our lives even amidst grief and pain. Thank you God for your promises that you will bring beauty and strength to our lives through your precious son, Jesus Christ. 

¹⁴ But Zion said, “The LORD has forsaken me,
And the Lord has forgotten me.”
¹⁵ “Can a woman forget her nursing child
And have no compassion on the son of her womb?
Even these may forget, but I will not forget you.
¹⁶ “Behold, I have inscribed you on the palms of My hands;
Your walls are continually before Me. 

 ~ Isaiah 49:14-16 ~

Book Club - The Ministry of Motherhood (Week 3)

This is gettin' good! :) I'm enjoying The Ministry of Motherhood so much as it might be a standard gift for my first-time-mom friends. It's been so encouraging to me and I'm only through the second chapter.

Good Morning Girls has been "directing" the book clubs and their extra material has been wonderful. They have commentary from the author Sally Clarkson, posts by fellow bloggers and book-club members, and they have a recap for the week as well. I've enjoyed the daily Scripture reading as well. It's been such a blessing to sit down and really mull over 1-2 (sometimes more) verses. It's great to be able to digest, reflect, and pray through Scripture daily. And the best part is, it hasn't been overwhelming because it's only a few verses each day.Alright, on to Chapters 1 & 2.

We're starting out with the first gift - Grace. Sally writes about Jesus' example of grace in the lives of his disciples. That he calls his disciples into a relationship with himself, all the while training them to represent himself through his power and grace. It's an amazing process to read and ponder and then apply to my relationship with my boys. I need to teach my children how to receive grace and then how to give grace, and therefore I need to do the same thing. :) But Sally reminds us that it's not all up to us. It's up to the Author of grace to draw my children unto himself.

Sally goes on to say that if we want our children to listen to our messages of grace (or whatever we are trying to get through to them with our words) we must first be willing to show them grace with our time. We need to be willing to serve our children and instead of commanding our children's allegiance with orders, threats, manipulation or guilt we need to tie the cords of their hearts to ours, to develop an unbreakable bond of a loving, serving relationship. Our service as mothers must come before great words of wisdom, teaching or training. If our children know we love them with our actions, they will listen to our words. God's Word about his love and grace will be real to them by the example that I set. (Yikes!!)

I also appreciate that she addresses the fact that we are not our children's servants. We don't give in to their every whim. Jesus did command obedience but he earned that obedience by his loving actions of service...and grace. When we discipline our children, grace must come first. We are setting the example for them to understand Jesus' forgiveness and grace. And it's so hard to do - to know that I'm to be that example is a tall order and a little daunting. But it's important and I want to make sure that my husband and I are being intentional about sharing the gift of grace with our boys. I want them to see Jesus in me and therefore make it easier to trust Jesus as they get older.

Again, the book has been so encouraging and yet challenging. I can't wait to share with you about the next few chapters.

What are your thoughts about Chapters 1 & 2? How has God been speaking to you through the daily Scripture passages?

If you're reading along with us please let me know and I'll link you up here.

Monster Knee

This is one of the reasons I love having boys - monster knees! What a great way to patch a hole in jeans. :) I found a picture of the monster knee on Pinterest (I have got to get an account there! Invite me!!) and went to Miekk's blog - By Miekk - and although I can barely understand one word on her blog, the pictures on the tutorial are very helpful! I fixed three pairs of jeans in 30 minutes and made my boys very proud to have monster knees...even though we'll probably have to wait until fall to show them off. :)

Book Club - The Ministry of Motherhood (Week 2)

I have to tell you that it's been great for me to be reading The Ministry of Motherhood this summer. It has already been an encouragement and I love that Good Morning Girls has added verses for daily reading and reflection. I have really been encouraged by the Bible reading and the fact that I actually have time to read and reflect on one or two verses a day. Makes me feel like I've accomplished something.

As for reading the book, that's a little more difficult. I love to digest books and with all the house-hunting, packing, wild-boy chasing, decorating-ideas collecting, it's been hard to read and not be distracted or...fall asleep. :) But I made it through the introduction and have been challenged by Sally Clarkson's model and her words. There were so many good parenting tips that weren't given as "tips" but were told in stories of how she handled situations with her kids. It was very encouraging to me.

I'm thankful that "God has created very normal people like me to have a ministry - a spiritual impact in the lives of other people" - in my children and through my children. And although it isn't as obvious as doing ministry in the neighborhood, church, community, world, it is still important enough for me to devote myself to ministering to my children. I've also been challenge to view my children as disciples and to really disciple them or train them spiritually, emotionally, and socially I need to be intentional and have a plan. And GIFTS is a good example of a discipleship plan in the lives of your children:

G - gift of grace
I - gift of inspiration (motivation and purpose)
F - gift of faith
T - gift of training
S - gift of service

These are the gifts that I can give my children as I minister to them. And I'm excited to read more in The Ministry of Motherhood to glean ways of how to gift my children with grace, inspiration, faith, training and service.

If you're reading along, what are your thoughts on The Ministry of Motherhood? And if you've blogged about it, I'd love to add your link.

Breanna at  

From Chalkboards to Cheerios

Book Club - The Ministry of Motherhood

I've had The Ministry of Motherhood by Sally Clarkson on my nightstand for months. And I just haven't found the time to really dig into it. It's not like it's a "heavy" book, but I wanted to make sure that I was in the right frame of mind to really study and learn from the book. And that time is now!!

Good Morning Girls is hosting a book club using The Ministry of Motherhood! God has great timing. I stumbled across it when I was catching up on Jolanthe's news at No Ordinary Moments. I'm not really starting a "group" but you can join me if you want to. The official start of the book club is Monday, May 23rd (although the Scripture reading started on May 16th). GMG is so organized and has gotten Scripture together for daily reading throughout the week to accompany the book. There are numerous verses to help strengthen and encourage us as moms.

Here's the information:


1. A reading schedule from GMG (they have some other great printables to create a binder for your notes about the book and your thoughts on Scripture).

2. The GMG uses the S.O.A.P. method for meditating on the daily Scripture.

The S.O.A.P. Method stands for:
1.  S- Write out the scripture passage for the day.
2. O- Write down 1 or 2 observations from the passage.
3. A- Write down 1-2 applications from the passage.
4. P- Pray over what you learned from today’s passage.

3. Please let me know in the comment section below if you want to participate and we'll figure it out from there.

Good Morning Girls is also providing the following support:

Our Web Schedule:

On Monday’s, you’ll see Sally Clarkson’s exclusive videos pertaining to that week’s reading in Ministry of Motherhood. Wisdom just pours out of Sally so you won’t want to miss what she has to say each Monday. The only thing better would be to have Sally Clarkson sit right next to you and mentor you personally!

On Wednesday’s, we invite you to link up or comment in the comment section and share what you are learning during your quiet times- this is your day to interact! As a change this session, we will also have several bloggers guest posting on what they learned while reading Ministry of Motherhood!

On Friday’s, Courtney and I will close with a discussion on what we learned through that week’s reading as well as share our answers to some of the discussion questions.

Toes Like Pearls

Tonight I'm missing little toes.

My baby is three years-old. And his feet are not little anymore. He has boy feet, not baby feet, not even toddler feet. He has little boy feet. I rocked him tonight and was really sad that his feet are getting big. :) That may sound ridiculous because he still has pretty little feet in the scheme of things. But his little toes are gone. And I'm sad about that. I wonder if I'll ever again kiss tiny toes that are my baby's. My heart aches for those toes, those feet. It's a small thing but still it's a reminder of what we lost a little over a year ago.

Anyway, that's what's been on my mind tonight after rocking my little man to sleep. So, for those of you that have little toes to kiss, do that. Kiss them. Enjoy them. And be thankful for all those little things - especially those 10 little things.

Book Review: Boundaries

For those of you who don't know me, I have a hard time saying, no to people. I will say yes to almost anything because of my very empathetic heart. But I'm learning as I get older that saying yes to one thing means you're saying no to something else. And most of the time I was saying no to myself and to my family - in an unhealthy proportion.

A friend recommended the book Boundaries: When to Say Yes, When to Say No, To Take Control of Your Life by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend. And let me tell you it was an encouraging and sometimes difficult book to read.

We start developing boundaries as soon as we exit the womb. I can say that I didn't really see it at the time with my boys but when I look back you can see how small but obvious those boundaries are - as an infant. That's just crazy to me, but it makes perfect sense. They are slowly developing and are learning that they are not "one" with mom anymore. They also start to exude independence when they learn to move and explore. And then their language kicks in and one of their first words is inevitably no.

Boundary construction is most evident in three-year-olds (that was shocking to me). By this time, they should have mastered the following tasks:

1. The ability to be emotionally attached to others, yet without giving up a sense of self and one's freedom to be apart.
2. The ability to say appropriate no's to others without fear of loss of love.
3. The ability to take appropriate no's from others without withdrawing emotionally.
   (pg 72-73)

That seems like a tall order, but I can see it in my boys and I want to help them develop healthy boundaries because they will cycle through creating boundaries again in their tween/teen years, and again in their 20's.

I see the cycle return in the lives of the students my husband and I work with. Those 13-year-old girls who are trying to be attached to their parents but want to be their own person and want their freedom. They want to be able to say no to their parents without feeling judged or unloved. They also are learning to hear no's from their parents without withdrawing from them and secluding themselves. But I gotta tell you, the experience is way harder in the teen-years than it is as an infant or even a toddler. :)

We as parents need to remember that as our children practice setting their boundaries we need to show that our love is constant and doesn't fail (1 Cor 13:8). When we detach from our "misbehaving children" instead of staying connected with them we misrepresent God's love. When we show hurt or disappointment, even passive rage, we are sending the message that our kids are unlovable. They are not lovable when they don't behave. That's a tough statement. (pg 75) It's hard knowing that I've misrepresented God's love and I need to work on my heart to help my children develop appropriate boundaries.

This book also goes past the parenting and shares with readers how they can develop healthy boundaries even if they didn't learn them as they were growing up. And it's hard work. Whether we are learning to say no to a parent, to our grown children, to our spouse, to our boss, or even to ministry opportunities.

I struggle with saying no, sometimes out of pride. "If I don't say yes, who will do it? How will it ever get done without me?" And I do have certain gifts that are often utilized, but sometimes just because I'm good at something doesn't mean that's where my heart is. :)

I've said no to a few opportunities this spring in areas of ministry that I know are not my gifting. I did feel that guilt of "things falling apart if I don't help out" or like I was disappointing people. But that's not what happened. Other people (the planners or people on committees) may have had to change their plans or their strategies but it was still ok. And the two times that I said no to a ministry opportunity that is not my gifting or not my heart's calling, God opened a door for me to serve in a way that is more comfortable and natural for me.

I was asked to do a monologue at a women's Bible study. I've told people before that when it comes to acting, I'm more like Simon Cowell: I know what looks and sounds good, but I can't do it myself. :) Well, I can do it, but I'm not very good at it nor am I comfortable with doing it. And I had a hard time saying no. But when I did, God blessed me with an opportunity to serve a mom that had lost her twin girls at 20 weeks. I was able to go to the hospital and be with her and her husband. And that was a blessing to me and I think to the couple as well. I know that if I had said yes to the monologue I wouldn't have been able to go to the hospital that same morning and I would have felt terrible guilt over saying yes to the thing that was less on my heart. But God worked it out for His purposes but I need to be proactive and say no.

And it goes beyond ministry. It goes to boundaries within family relationships. Whether you're dealing with adult children mooching off you, people taking advantage of you at work, your spouse verbally or physically abusing you, or even if you are an adult dealing with your parents or siblings. Some of these boundary situations are way more than just feeling like you've disappointed the Sunday School committee. When you're setting boundaries within relationships, there is hard work and pain that are connected to boundaries - or our lack of them.

When we think about saying no to people who are close to us we need to consider:

1. What do we stand to lose by setting boundaries? We need to know the risks and prepare our hearts for the consequences of our boundaries.
2. Are we willing to risk loss by enforcing our boundaries? Are we willing to accept the consequences?
3. We need to be diligent in making up for what is lost. If we lose a friend, parent, sibling, child, or our job over setting boundaries with them we need to work on our hearts. We need to have a support group ready to love on us after a boundary-setting loss; to reassure us that the boundaries we set are healthy and appropriate.
4. We need to do it! It's healthy to have boundaries and we need to count to three and jump in (after prayer and some wise council).
5. Remember that the hardest part is the beginning. It may not go perfectly or the way that we expected (whether that's better or worse) but we need to do it.

The book goes through different scenerios and relationships and gives practical ways to set boundaries and deal with the aftermath that comes with it (anger, manipulation, retaliation, abandonment, etc).

Boundaries is a great book for parents learning how to teach their children healthy boundaries right from the beginning. It's also a great book for people learning to set boundaries in relationships, work, or ministry. I'm sure I'll reference it often. Thanks Kerry, for the great recommendation!


Other recommended reading:

Boundaries in Dating:
Making Dating Work

Boundaries With Kids:
How Healthy Choices Grow Healthy Children