Friday, October 15, 2010

Planning: Balloons (Part 4)

(You can start reading the series here: Planning (Part 1), Planning: Picking the Music (Part 2), Planning: Cake (Part 3).)

Ok, now that I've been Debbie Downer all week I thought I'd talk about the balloons as my final post on planning the memorial service/heaven party for our son, Elihu Siloam.

I knew I wanted balloons to be released and was inspired by Denise to do just that. And we will make that (along with the cake) a yearly celebration for our son Elihu. But this time I wanted it to be especially meaningful. I wanted to play a song while we let our balloons float into the sky and I had heard the song Fly by Celine Dion when I was in high school and fell in love with it. I just never thought that it would have so much meaning for me.

We got multicolored balloons and everyone (even the littles) held on to the string of that balloon until they were prompted to let them fly as a gift to our son in Heaven. I listened to the words of the song holding on to my balloon and I didn't want to let go. I even heard myself say "I don't want to let go. This is so hard." But I knew I had to let go. And what hurt was the reality of the symbolism of letting that balloon go - letting my son go. Really letting him go. I was brought out of my grief by laughs and shouts of joy as the littles yelled excitedly as the balloons disappeared into the bright blue sky. "There goes your balloon." "Oh look, there's my balloon." "They are flying so high." It was really sweet and innocent. I'm letting my son go and I'm hearing them rejoice. It was a bittersweet moment. Something that I will always carry with me. Letting my son go. Really doing it. Finally releasing him back into God's hands. My Elihu.

Celine Dion

Fly, fly little wing
Fly beyond imagining
The softest cloud, the whitest dove
Upon the wind of heaven's love
Past the planets and the stars
Leave this lonely world of ours
Escape the sorrow and the pain
And fly again

Fly, fly precious one
Your endless journey has begun
Take your gentle happiness
Far too beautiful for this
Cross over to the other shore
There is peace forevermore
But hold this mem'ry bittersweet
Until we meet

Fly, fly do not fear
Don't waste a breath, don't shed a tear
Your heart is pure, your soul is free
Be on your way, don't wait for me
Above the universe you'll climb
On beyond the hands of time
The moon will rise, the sun will set
But I won't forget

Fly, fly little wing
Fly where only angels sing
Fly away, the time is right
Go now, find the light

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