It's My Party...

...and I can cry if I want to. Today I turn 30.years.old. And that is not as exciting as turning 10! ;) I just can't imagine my 40th or 50th birthday being dreaded as much as I dread today.

30. I don't really know why I'm dreading it as much as I am, but here are some honest things I've been thinking:

• an adventurous life is out of the question
• i have more responsibilities than freedoms
• i am old
• i have some wrinkles and even age spots
• my life won't be as exciting as it has been the last 30 years
• i'm not even pregnant
• i haven't done anything brag-worthy in the last year (some friends of mine have set goals to accomplish before they turn 30 - do a pull-up, run a marathon, etc)
• my husband is out of town...for another birthday
• i am still grieving
• i'm buying my own birthday cake
• i'm not young anymore

So, it's not a day that I've been looking forward to. I think I blew off the whole 30-year-goal thing because I was pregnant. I can't possibly run a mile, do a pull-up or skydive when I'm pregnant. But that excuse is gone, and I'm mourning that too.

Since the birthday isn't so exciting, I thought my 30th year could be. So I'm starting a list of things I've never done. Not a "bucket-list" but more like something to prove that I'm not boring, that my life isn't over, that I'm still an exciting person, that I God can still do great things in my life - through me and for me. Here we go...

1. Go to a comedy club
2. Do a mud-run
3. Take a boot-camp class
4. Get a tattoo??
5. Take a weekend "class" from my church
6. Try accupuncture
7. Speak up for myself more
8. Learn how to bake really good bread from scratch (no bread machine)
9. Use my gift of hospitality regularly (invite people over at least once a month - possibly once a week - for dinner, playdates, coffee, etc)
10. And More!

I'm having a hard time thinking of exciting things to add to my list - things that aren't so expensive and that will be likely to be accomplished, although challenging. So please help me by offering any suggestions. I'm glad to be trying some new things in this next year...and I'm possibly excited. ;)